About 25 years ago I was divorced from an alcoholic marriage and made myself a list of what I wanted in a relationship (not being an alcoholic was at the top of the list). I met someone that checked every box. I was very excited! After about four months as things fell apart because we were not a good fit because of a whole host of things that weren’t on my list. So I threw out my list and decided to see who showed up in my life and let intuition guide me. A couple of months later I met the lady that I have been with now for 24 years, and each year just gets better. We both had what I call learner marriages. By the time we met, in our forties, we had matured enough that we were able to work through a host of details that turned out to be simply topics to discuss in detail, each one an opportunity to learn a different point of view and strengthen our relationship. I encourage everyone to throw out their list (except for obvious deal breakers like criminal behaviour, lying, etc.), and trust in their heart. To steal a favourite quote from a movie: “marry someone kind” and the rest can be worked out.